Santa I've been good.....

Well.....I think Santa lost my address this year. Cause there was nothing under the tree for me when I woke up this morning.... Well actually that is not entirely true... I did get a couple of dollars and was able to buy something that I wanted (not needed)... and I am loving that gift.

Maybe next year I will install a landing stip with flashing light on my roof so he does not forget about me.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

Happy Holidays!!!!!!!

Seasons Greeting!!!!!!!!

So...It was OK....

It was OK... The speed dating thing. I mean it was not as bad a match.com. At least the guys tried to have a conversation with you before rejecting you... :-)

Honestly... I did have an OK time. I had 8 dates.... talk to 8 guys. Had some interesting conversations... laugh a bunch that was really cool. I mean I really did not go into it with any expectations at all. I figure at events like this.... there isn't much diversity, and I was right. And not all people are open minded. Personally, I am not the type to not talk to someone who different from me....and I guess I assume people are that way as well.

I am open to the possibility of meeting a person that I am compatible with regardless of their race or ethnic background and I am noticing that most men are not that open to it.

So what's a girl to do. I am going to just take a break. I mean seriously. This process is feeling like a full time job and it is starting to get stressful. And that is not fun.... this is suppose to be fun, right? Well if it is, when does it start?

Anyway back to my experience - so the wait now begins... you have to log in to their website to put enter your matches.... if you want to see a particular person again for another date or friendship....or whatever.... now in order to have a match - both people have to pick the same category. If they do, then you get there contact info so you can talk or met again. If no one picks you for any category then there is not match and you got to go to another event for free.

I am glad it tried it - I can add it to my nice long list of date options I've tried. Maybe I need to try normal stuff... like the supermarket, the street, the train (kinda impossible since i don't use public transport), someone suggest volunteering but I would never do that to just meet someone. I will volunteer to help a group with whatever they need. Oh well... back to the mundane that is my life.

Something New?

Or is it going to be the same old same old. I am trying to keep an open mind. This evening a friend and I will try speed dating. Ask me why I keep torturing myself but I guess I am a glutton for punishment. It was suppose to be a bunch of us girls getting together to have some fun. But it only ended up being 2 of us. I am still looking forward to getting out and meeting people in my age group.

Like I told her today - I am going in to this with no expectations..... I am going to have a good laugh and get out of the mundane that has become my life (of late). I am even considering trying other new things... like skiing (yeah, i laughed myself). I am a self-professed Tropical Bird... I don't like being cold. But you know what... I wouldn't mind giving it a try at least once in my life. I also want to go fishing... (please stop laughing)... yes I know i have a problem with crawly things, so someone is going to have to help me with baiting my line.... but I just want to try it at least one... you never know, I might just end up liking it.

There are lots of things I've never tried. I want to learn to ride a bicycle, then a motorcycle and swim (i confess... that swim class in college did not help me, I still can't tread water). I want to learn to drive race cars (to do that i need to learn to drive a standard). I want to learn to drive an 18 wheeler.... I will ride the superman ride at six flags one of these days. I want to see the world - Ireland, Scotland, London, Italy - just to name a few. I want to get into photography - I took a couple of classes in college and I really enjoyed it. I want to learn to salsa, mambo and waltz, belly dance and strip. I've got the Caribbean dancing down ;-)

I will be back with the skinny on the speed dating event..... wish me luck

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!!!!

Well... I had big plans for the 34th year of my life. I set a nice goal for myself (at least one that I thought was attainable)..... I wanted to look a certain way, feel a certain way, do certain things, be certain places. And as you may have guessed from the entry.... Nothing happened the way I thought.....

First of all - I was not able to fit in to the outfit that I said I would wear on my birthday (circumstances beyond my control I have to concede).... I did not really stick to my work out plan, I did loose a few pounds, but not enough to make a significant difference in the outfit. And to be quite honest, the wait lost was completely due to the fact that I have been sick for the last month or so and have not be able to eat much.

Secondly - I did not have all of my friends with me when I celebrated this year. Last year was a complete surprise that my sister pulled together a party without my knowledge and I was most shocked that she was able to get a few of my closest friends to attend the gathering at my house. I did have one really really good friend who saved the day for me.... And to her I am forever and always be indebted to her for doing that.

So here is how the day went today:
Up about 11am (still sick) did not fell much like eating anything.... grabbed a cup of tea and that was about it. Checked my email - a couple of my friends send my e-cards...I did get a couple of calls as well.... Ended up having to run an errand for my mother and sister... but the second errand was very fruitful - got me a sweet pair of diamond earrings and a dolphin bracelet out of that one (awesome right).... Well one was a gift to myself (honestly i have given up waiting for people to buy me stuff - so if i see it and like it - damn it i am getting it). After that, got into a small fight with my mother - she was being a pain in the arse as usual.... Anyway, trying not to think about how sucky the day had going so far... I kept focus on my new jewelry and smiled all the way home. When i got home and realized that no-one was calling to say - hey it's your birthday i will be there to pick you up in a minute - i started to get gloomy again. The mother baked me a rum cake (which was awesome) and the sister got me an ice cream cake - which the baby decided to eat with her fingers....so we had to work quickly to light the candles and sing the song. That done - i realize that it was almost 7 pm and I had not heard from one of my bestest friends in the world. I had seen an email from her earlier in the day but not directly to me. So I figured the e-card was held up for some reason... then the fact that it was after work and she still had not called me, I picked up the phone and did what I had to do. So I called her....... her reply - "oh my god, i completely forgot" Well there you have it. She said that we should home she ate and have some wine and then suggested that i come over to her house (she apparently was in no condition to drive). I decided that is not how i wanted to spend the remainder of my birthday that way - so i said my good byes and that was that.

Meanwhile - back at Casa de Insane - things were getting rather shaky when a person was invited who really should not have been invited. Anyway, cradle robbing should be a crime punishable by serious pain and torture. I needed to escape because of that and so I tired. I know that my other bestest girl was getting off work sometime after 9 so i called her to help me with my escape and true to form she came through for me with flying colors. She even made a cake for me (she is awesome). We went to dinner and have a couple of drinks.

I just got home - and had to record this day before I take my medicine. I really need to re-access my life as it is now and make a decision on what my next move will be. But I just need to make it through the next couple of days- I have a gathering tomorrow (well actually later today) and then a speed-dating event next week.......That should be some interesting entries... so stay tuned.

Happy Birthday To ME......

Happy Birthday to me........

No big plans... don't know if I am even going out tonight... how sad. I got a couple of birthday wishes, a couple of e-cards... and an awesome cake... but no gifts or paper cards. Alas the day is still early....

Ladies Night - November

We had our November gather at my house on the 17th. It was a blast... we ate, drank, and laughed. I am glad the ladies were able to make it.... Sometime between 8 pm and 130am... we had covered every subject in the world...from weddings, to pregnancy, to religion, you name it we talked about it. I am really glad to connect with these fabulous ladies... even if it is once a month....

Next up - December 15....I am so looking forward to it.

Hey God, It's Me

Well... back at the beginning of the month, I got sick... thought nothing of it. But after getting better I thought i was in the clear.. then bam!! in the middle of the month, 11/12 to be exact, I side swiped again... this time I was knocked completely on my arse.... No you must understand that I hate going to the doctor or the hospital... but on 11/18 I found myself in the emergency room... hacking like crazy. The official diagnosis - Bronchitis.

That was 2 weeks ago... and I was good, I took all of my medicines that I was suppose to... right.. That would mean that I would be better by now...right. WRONG... Yeah I went to the doctor today because I am still now feel better, back with the congestion, runny nose, the nasty cough. NOW - I have a viral infection. YEAH.

My birthday is in 2 days and I am sick again... like I said before if I am not in the hospital hooked up to to tubes... I am going out on my birthday......

The Thing You never expected

OK... so I saw something today that turn my stomach, made me cringe and just plain upset the delicate balance that is my life. I am too mortify to re-tell the entire story. I know this does not make sense but it I just needed to put it out there so that the universe could make it right again. Mothers - can't live with them, can't live with them.

This something that happened today - has open my eyes to some serious realities and I need to make some serious changes immediately. I just need to wrap my head around it... and move to hell on. I am still on the "oh my fucking god" phase. I try to put it into words but that is all I can come up with is "oh my fucking god"

OMFG.

No!!! Not again

Flu Flu go away comeback another day.

Why is it that you get sick when you have shit to do... I am suppose to got to a friends birthday celebration tonight... tomorrow I have another birthday party (cute mens will be there) and another friend's birthday is also tomorrow. And me, I sound like someone is choking me and my head feel like it is 4 times it's actual size.

I am praying that my birthday is not like this... I am going out come hell or high water. If I am not in the hospital in intensive care... I am going out.

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.....
You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

My New Skill

Well….Today I found out that I am psychic. Yeah me, psychic can you believe it. Here is the story.

So I went out with this guy… had a really nice time and he apparently did as well… He said he’d call. I emailed him the next day to say thank you for the date and I got this reply: I get a reply: “I had a nice time as well. We will have to do it again. Have a good weekend”. I took that to mean yeah there might be a second date. (Mistake 1)

So after a week goes by and no call, I just t assumed that he was busy. (Mistake 2) So I being the girl, emailed him just to make sure I was not mistaken that there was some sort of interest. I sent a quick email asking how his weekend was and brought up something from our conversation… He replied back and asked how my weekend was. So again I assumed (mistake 3) maybe there is something there. Ok so I replied, and got another reply. So I being an independent woman – just went for it and send an email asking him out. Yeah I did it. That was last week. And today this is the email I got:

"Sorry I haven't written you back. As you probably figured out I have also been dating someone else and I think I want to see where that will go.I had a nice time with you and think you are attractive and a nice person.Good luck."

Well blow me down….. I am psychic. Yeah me, psychic can you believe it. So many things were floating around in my head from not replying to something over the top. But being the level headed “sexy bitch” that I am. I made it short and sweet…. “Sorry….maybe my psychic ability was on vacation… Have Fun and Good Luck to you.

Yeah me, psychic. I am still coming to terms with it.

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

I got this email today:

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?" The guy said "No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, drank margaritas, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny and farted whenever she wanted.

The end.


Nice ain't it. :-)

Word of the Day

Per T.R.D. today's word is:

Cockapotamus

Kids please form 10 sentences using this word.

I am done

So I cancelled my Match.com membership today. I just can't be bothered anymore. Once the subscription expires in December I am completely through... don't want to hear about or see another online dating website. I am going to set my firewall to block them all, damn-it. It has been the worst mistake I've ever made.

Although I should mention that I got one really nice date out of it. ONE. Enough said...

I am just going to concede defeat and put my application in at the convent.

What's a girl gotta do...

I mean damn.

Ladies Night - September

It's been a while since the last Ladies Night get together..... Booty hosted this evening at her new house (now so new anymore - she bought it in April) and has been doing some renovating/updating since before she moved in. It was myself, Dreads, Legs, Booty and another friend (no nickname as yet). It was small... we had finger food and wine of course... this time we were good between the 5 of us we only made it through 3.5 bottles of wine. I am feeling quite nice at the moment.

It was announced that Dreads is getting married May 2007..... so now that is another wedding to get ready for. My first begins with April 07, then May 07 then August 07, it is going to be a busy year. I need to get my arse in shape since i am going to need all the strength I can muster to keep up with all the stuff that is going to be happening next year.... mind you, next year is just a couple of short months away. The pressure. I need to find a date to these weddings, it would be quite sad to show up with no one. First I've got to get into shape and then find a man to escort me - the pressure - damn......

I am so happy for they all... they have found their special person... the one that makes that happy, makes them grown and make them love like they haven't loved before... I am so glad for them. Now I just need to find my own someone special.

Red Headed Slut!!!

Move over Alabama Slamma - the redheaded slut is the new sheriff in town. I met up with E last night for drinks and general mischief making, and we ended up at the Blarney Stone. I needed to get out... plus I got my hair did yesterday as well...I looked so good. I looked so god - Was rocking the sexybitch hard. Anyway... the blarney stone was fun only because E had me laughing my arse off....Definitely a good drinking buddy (she is a cool chick all around, but especially so when she's had a couple). Considering the bar overflowed with SB's and not attractive men, it was still a good time. Not one single flirt, no one bought us drinks, no looks, no nothing. WTF is wrong with men. I mean seriously.

Someone sent this email to me today!!!

I totally agree with it..... and yes I am one of the ones waiting (not so patiently at the top).

------------------Girls--------------

-----------are like apples------

-------on trees. The best ones-----

-----are at the top of the tree.-----

---The boys dont want to reach---

--for the good ones because they--

-are afraid of falling and getting hurt.-

-Instead, they get the rotten apples-

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples up top think

something is wrong w/ them when in

-reality they're amazing. They just--

---have to wait for the right boy to ----

come along, the one who is

------- brave enough to-------

------------climb all------------

--------------the way-------------

-------------to the top------------

-----------of the tree.---------

Why?

Why am I having annoying days... I would really like to know. To be quite honest... Everything in the world seems to be bothering me lately.... The project I am working on, the face that match.com sucks, and to top it all off - I am breaking out like a teenager. Go figure.

What is it - I never had an acne problem before - I mean a few pimples hear and there but now my face look bad, really bad. I just started using proactiv again an I am hoping that it works. But damn it I've made an appointment to get my face checked.

Match.com - don't even get me started...Shoes do you hear me - Sexy f***ing shoes. They could be on my feet now. Yes it is official I am an arse.

I don't even what to talk about the project - it is too damn depressing.

Oh well... Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent - and you don't know me so you can't judge

Today is a Jose C. Day

Yeah... What a day what a day. A 2-3 shots of Jose day. I shall not bore you with the details but I need to be distracted in a big way.

So Match.com..... what can I say. I am trying but my patience is wearing thin. So you see a guy you think you want to met... Going by the pictures he's posted and the stuff he wrote... Oh he seems to be interesting. So you wink and wait. And you wait and wait... And each time you sign in you are reminded that that person did not have to courtesy to say "Thanks but no thanks". Then you get emails the length of a master's thesis that make your eyes glaze over. Now, mind you I have not problem with getting your shit out there in the beginning.. But you I need to know that you like squirrels... Hell no. Normal people most often referred to time pasing in days, weeks, months, even years. Not Winters... Who the hell talks like that. Oh, but I guess that there is something in my profile that screams.... Yes squirrel boy pick me, pick me.

Then there are the beautiful people. The cute (actually Hot is a better way to descibe them physically) guys who are only looking for skinny bitches. Apparently they don't want them either cause if you did not realize - You are using match.com just like me fella. So get the fuck of your high horse and talk to the girls that may be interested in you. Cause you know what you may be hot but you could have personality of prick. So Be nice, you never know when you are going to need a fluffly chick to call 911 for your ass when the skinny bitch fucks you over.

Slap Me

I've done something that I am beginning to regret - Yes, I joined match.com again. Am I an ass or what. I guess I am glutton for punishment. I guess I just love being rejected by total stranger. (subconsciously that is). I was fine with it the day I signed up but today I am not feel it at all.

I guess since they have my money, I should make the best of it. The man pool is very murky, like some dropped a load in the water.... I am just seeing crap. Maybe I am a shallow bitch, who know. But damn it, if I am going to look at you everyday - I want some eye candy - if that makes me a shallow bitch - I'll wear it proudly. I am a good catch...If you did not get the memo - I am on Sexy Bitch and I ain't settling or lowering my standards for no one... If he don't measure up - he can kiss my big black ass and move to fuck on. I am a grown ass woman who has is intelligent, cute, and confident with who she is after all the shit she's had to deal with in her life. So if this is what I have to do to put myself out there then so be it.

Change is a coming!!!!!

So, I've decided to make some changes in my life. I am working on the internal me and now I've taken a couple steps with the external me. About 2 weeks ago, I change my hair color - I went from brown (which really was the sun having its way with my black hair).... To red under tones and copper highlights. I've also for the first time in my life (I swore I could never touch my eyebrows) I had my eyebrows done. I can honestly say it makes a big difference. I have a couple more things in the works but will hold off tell you about them until I'm ready to unveil them. **Hint, Hint - the girls***

What does it mean?

So today at the Salon the weirdest thing happened.

I was on the phone and one of the stylists said oh look at the bird. I did not pay it much attention until it flew into the salon. A white dove. Of all things to come in to the salon. It just came in, look around for a while... then flew over me and watch me. As if to say hi, I have a message for you. I on the other hand did not take it that way and I got out of its way. I decided to shit and leave.

So I cleaned up the mess and that was the end of it. So please tell me, What does it mean?

TSB, the new sport of Divas

TSB - Throwing Skinny Bitches

The rules are simple.....Us beautiful, intelligent, strong minded, and sexy as hell women try to throw skinny bitches as far a possible. Much like the shot-put, discus and even javelin throwing contest, TSB involves skill and determination. You must concentrate and ignore the screams coming from the skinny bitch and proceed. The winner will be handsomely rewarded - just with the sheer sense of accomplishment. I know I would definitely for a hundred percent elated.

Another Friday Night......

Well as you can see it is 10 pm on a friday night - a night that is neither too hot or too cold. And where am I... certainly not out viewing the best eye candy that boston has to offer...certainly not making fun of the skinny bitches with no clothes on, certainly not knocking back alabama slammers like they were Koolaid... NO... I am home. I have to be up and out of the house by 6 am, because I am a commited responsible person (no i did say someone was responsible for committing me). I guess the best I can do is watch a movie or read one of my trashy romance novels. Such is my life at the moment. Is there hope for me? Damnit, there better be.

Hello My Name Is M. and I am a Computer Addict!!!!

I am working on a project right now where I don't have access to a computer and boy do I feel naked. I did not realize how dependent I had become on the computer, not just the internet (I really miss that) but just being able to type a letter, whip up a spreadsheet or two, send an email or do research. I honestly don't remember when I got hook but damn if I am not going through withdrawals. When did the computer and the word processing functions become so part of everyday life. I mean, I am having the hardest time being able to function without the use of a computer or a pocket pc. Wow....

Yes, I admit it. I am a computer addict.

I have to be honest, I am working on getting computer and internet access on the project I am working on right now... It has been and continues to be a long painful process. Did not realize the project would be so difficult either - I guess you never know what you'll get when you take on a new project. In my case I knew it was but I did realize it was this bad.

Quote of the Day

I went to a Jamaican restaurant for lunch the other day - as I was talking towards the place the owner/cook was sitting outside. When I reached him is said to me, with his Jamaican accent:

"My, you look fit. You wanna fight"

All I could do is laugh. That is the best line I've heard in a long time.

Am I Mean?

Sometimes some members of my family a pain in my arse. I mean damn - right at this moment I just want to walk away. To where I have no idea, just someplace where I can't be found. My sisters and brothers in particular are asses and should be smacked very hard, actually I could think of worse but I am trying to control my anger, temper and hatred right now.

I am beginning to regret not big a total ass when I was a teenager and young adult.... I should have been a badassss kids and gotten myself in a whole lot of shit but no I didn't. No I was on the straight and narrow and look where the fuck it's gotten me. Oh well... I guess I have to live with it now and just suffer... Unless someone out there wants to "take me away" :-)

OK Damn-it I ain't that strong...

Well today I cried and cried. I am not emotionally equip to handle death. I admit it, I am a wimp.

I went to the funeral of one of my best friend's brother this morning. Needless to say, it was a sad day all around. But more so because he was only 18 years old with a life full of potential. He was going to be one of those good guys that make it despite what was happening in the community. He was a good kid, I mean he was into sports, his family and his community all in a positive way. A way that would make a parent and even strangers proud. His passing is still a great disbelief. I remember this cute little boy all of 4 hanging out with his big sister. Over the years he grew into a fine kid ready to take on the world with his love and courage. He will be missed. My heart goes out to his family especially his sister, my friend.

What a day, What a day

Today was a hard day... I was riding an emotional roller coaster. First the day started of with a successful meeting with a client and good conversation in terms of a vision or direction for a new business venture.

Then I got The Call... The one that tore my heart out. One of my best friends brothers (only 18 years old) was shot and killed. I know my friend is in such shock and pain with the loss of her brother.. He was her heart, her everything. See, she is was a teenager herself when he was born... Not many kids have a little brother in high school. I was so funny because me and another friend all had siblings around the same age. I liked that we had that in college. And now as they get ready to head off to college... This tragedy happens.

I just don't know what to say, the pain, the grief is so great. All I can say to her is that I am here for you. Whatever you need.

Interesting Information?

So I had a conversation with Pound Cake's brother the other night..... Well it wasn't really a conversation more I needed a man's perspective. I just wanted to know when men were so (let's just say) stupid. Why don't they realize that there are some fabulous single women just waiting to be romanced (myself and Pound Cake included, they are many others). Mind you we are all beautiful, educated, and just plain nice.

I do understand that he does not speak for the entire male population but I just need to get some incite. As we chatted, he said that one of the reason we don't have significant others was that we know too much. That (some) men don't like smart women. I guess we are just to smart for out own good and with that we just don't need me. He suggested that we switch teams... Yeah he said that… He did say something about us being partially desperate... That one I am still trying to figure out.

I am going to have to do some more research. So far this quite unsettling.

A Hell-Of-A-Day

Can you believe it...? I actually worked today. Got up and had to be somewhere by 7 am and worked until sometime after 7 pm. Boy that brings back memories. I am rather used to my self-employed life... But I had to help a friend out so I did. I am such a nice person, no really I am. Most people say that they are nice and they are not. But when I say I am a nice person I really do mean it. If you don't believe me ask any of my friends.

Happy 4th?

Today is Tuesday....The family is here making me miserable. I really don't feel good at all. My head is killing me and so is my stomach. And to top it all off I am hungry.

So for my big holiday dinner - I had a big bowl of cereal. For my head - I had some very strong drugs. Oh did I mention that I am so hot I feel like I am melting.

Well damn, the drugs should kick in soon and I will be in lalaland.

Hope you had a good day.

Never Mind Who You Thought I Was!!

I Am A Sexy Bitch

Relax, Relate, Release

An what a good morning it has turned out to be....it is 2 am and I've just returned home for a nice evening out. Tried a new place today - The City Bar at the Lenox Hotel. The atmosphere was very nice and relaxing. The music was a mixture of old school and new stuff.. with a little pop thrown in for good measure.. or should I say a little Mr. Marley...Mr. Brown and Shabba was on the play list as well... The drinks were nice although, a bit limited.. I had my heart set on an Alabama Slamma but I was told that they did not have the ingredients necessary to make it and was promptly presented with a dirnk menu... what ever was on the list was pretty much it.. unless it was an uncomplicated drink...

I started off with the Tiki Tonic - not what I expected.. after a while my tounge began to burn (that is the best way to describe it).. I know they was some sort of spice rum that was used but i could not put my fingure on it.. finally I asked the bar tender - and she said the infused rum that was used had ginger pieces in the bottle.. so I got a different drink... a Guava Martini, yum.

So I pretty much nursed that drink for the remainder of the evening.. and sat back with Pound Cake and people watch. We were eyeing the bouncer all night, actually she was... very cute if I do say so myself. All in All a wonderful evening.

Quote of the Day

On a recent trip to BJ's with MySis and POUND CAKE - we pull in the parking lot and the pungent air held something nasty... We go in do our business and are on our way back to the car... The air got heavier with the stench of something awful.. We could not put our finger on one single smell - or so we thought.

That is when MySis exclaims, "oh my god, I smell Gorilla"

Wanted!!!!!

One Sugar Daddy......

It is my turn... I want someone to look after me for a change. I am always the one responsible for everyone... But no one is looking out for me.

Is it so wrong to want a vacation from responsibility?

I just want my bills paid, my feet rubbed among other things, and anything else my little heart desires.

Applications are now being accepted.....Job starts immediately.

When It Rains It Pours!!!!

So my adventured continued all day yesterday....

My car was fixed and ready for me to pick it up about noon (yeah)......I get dressed and had my sister take me to the dealership. I get there, pay the ransom ($299.18) and was on my merry way. Had a couple errands to run, went to the bank and the store... By this time it's 3pm. Fine no problem I can still get a bunch of stuff accomplished, the sun was out... I decided to wear my capris and a low cut shirt (the girls were happy to get some sun).

I needed to get an oil change (I was not going to pay $29 at the dealership) so I went to Sears, where I also need to get my tires rotated (I have a plan with them). When I get there my friend, K, was there we chatted for a bit... He knew why I was there without me telling him....He checked under my hood, filter etc...He noticed that the anti-freeze Reservoir was out of place and had spilled anti-freeze all over the engine. Toyota tech probably did that when replacing the timing belt. K also noticed that I needed a belt (can't remember the name right now).. Anyway... I called Toyota to let them know and they said bring the car back so they could fix it... Bullshit... I have shit to do, I would just have Sears do it and take the receipt to them. It only cost 3.99 to top the antifreeze off so I don't think I am going to kill myself to get the receipt back to them....

So an hour and a half later my car was almost ready for me... I called POUND CAKE to see if she wanted to hang and cause trouble with me. She said sure and I waited for her at Sears. Originally I was not suppose to be ready until about 6:30 but a half hour earlier and I am sitting in the parking lot.

I don't know why... But something told me look for your registration... So I open the glovebox and pull out that I thought was the new registration...I actually emptied the entire thing went but no such luck. No Registration - Damn it to high heaven... Now consider...I did not need my registration, it's not like I was getting a sticker or anything... I was just waiting for PC to get there...

So now I am racking my brain... Where the hell could it be. I look up down and crossway but nothing.. I called home and had my mom check her bag, since she was with me the day I was suppose to have put it in the box... But she said it was not in her bag... Just my luck...

I went on and did what I had to do.... Now in all of them my brakes have been making a god awful noise, considering they are new brakes about a year old. So now I need to get my ass back to the shop to have that checked out. (Which is where I am suppose to be right now).

We had dinner at TGIF - after all errands were done...PC, her brother and me. When I got home at 11:30. Something told me check my bank account online - and damn if the check that I did a stop payment on was received and returned on the same day that the replacement check posted... And the fucking bank returned that as well... What a way to end my fucking day.

I was glad the day was done... But damn it if I don't have to do some serious damage control today. RMV here I come - and that customer service bitch that would not help me last night with a simple question at 6:59...Go ahead and fuck with me today.... After the day I had yesterday, bring it on bitch.

Life's a Bitch!

So yesterday evening - I decided to go run some errands... when I started my car I sounded a little funny (considering I don't really pay much to noises, as long as it starts and moves I am happy - I am a mechanic dream). So I was able to run a couple of errands and decided to go home. I figured I would take the car to the shop in the morning.

One of my errands involved picking up a trashy romance novel (got get the romance somewhere huh)... anyway, I got a bit side tracked reading. I put the book down sometime around 7am. Now considering I am suppose to take the car to get checked out early morning.....Well I did fall asleep and finally got up about 10am.

So I get ready and go out to start the car... by now the sun is hot as hell and I am sweating like a pig. But I tried starting the car and nothing. I had to call AAA to tow it to the shop - thank god it is just down the street. So I go see my friend at the Toyota service center....

That was the funniest exchange -

Me: I blame you for this -you jinxed me.
Guy: Me what did I do?
Me: You told me I had major problems that need to be fixed....
Guy: He laughs....
Me: Just make sure whatever is wrong it is under $100
Guy: He laughs....

30-45 minutes later...
Guy: Ok well - you timing belt is broken and it is going to cost about 350 to fix it.
Me: No (in my head - that is bullshit)... I just had that replaced her a little while ago.
Guy: I'll check on it...

15 minutes later.....
Guy: Ok I have good news and bad news
Me: What
Guy: The bad news is that we need to keep your car over night...
Me: No, no... why can you fix today
Guy: Well the person who is going to fix it is working on a car right now..and he won't be able to start and finish your car today.
Me: well he better get crackalacking.. cause I need my car...
Guy: We do you want to hear the good news or not...
Me: fine fine...what is the good news..
Guy: We did replace your timing belt in March so it is still it will not cost you to have it fixed.
Me: Are you serious....

I started dancing and smiling and dancing...

Me: You just made my day, I could hug you....and that is exactly what I did.

God loves me... cause he knew that I could not handle shelling out more money to fix my car.

And just yesterday I said to my mother - I am going to have to buy a new car.

The Things You Do.....

I hate hospitals...

My sister asked me to take my nephew to his allergy appointment today. However, she failed to inform me that he was being tested today.

It started off all wrong.... I did not find out the appointment time until 9am and the we had to be at the hospital for 11am (I hate that shit). At least she gave me a note giving me permission to be there an authorize the damn test. And then the question, the one they always ask......"So why is he being seen today"? I did not know, cause she did not tell me. I just had the doctor call her and she gave him the background information that he needed. (yeah like I was suppose to know all that shit). Now that was out of the way and the doc said the nurse will be in shortly to administer the test.

The good news is that I'm already familiar with the allergy testing stuff - since my little sister has been through the process.

Long story short, my nephew is allergic to everything under the sun.... Mold, Mice, Cats, Dogs, Dust Mites, Feathers, Trees, Grass.... Peanuts, Treenuts, Coconuts, and Sesames. I mean he is screwed with the indoor stuff and screwed with the outdoor stuff.

I feel sorry for the poor kid.....But how do you tell a 5 year he is allergic to everything.

Dreams

What is it about a dream that can freak the hell out of you or make you want to go back for more....?

Well the other day (yes, this was a nap time dream). I was on an airplane and was getting freaky with Busta Rhymes... Of all people. I mean I don't know why but conveniently there was a bed on the plane. I was totally naked and riding him like a stallion. Then I woke up when the phone rang.

What do you think it means? I can only wonder.

Damn, I'm Hot

Why did I pick today to clean the house? I don't have central air so my house is like a sauna right now. There are only 2 windows in the living room - so not much air is coming in that way. The front door is open as well.. And I am sweating like a pig... I mean I was just standing still and the sweat was running off of me.

Anyway...I am hoping to clean and rearrange the entire house today so that I can just simply relax tomorrow (since it is going to be even hotter tomorrow)... Don't get me wrong, this is not way a complaint about it being hot. I just generally don't sweat in the heat unless the humidity is over the top. Being from an island in the Caribbean.. I love warm weather..... In the island there is always a breeze and where I lived, I could be at the beach in a matter of minutes.. Don't have that luxury at the moment.....

Oh well, such is life - Back to cleaning.

So I went out tonight

So I was out tonight - with LEGS.... I actually made an effort to look pretty. I work my white linen skirt suit... The one with the low cut blouse (lets just say The Girls were enjoying the breeze). I wore my hear down, it is getting pretty long again (long for me), it is slightly past my shoulders. Anyway, I looked hot.... Yeah baby. I am not a vain person by any means... But you have to experience the Fabulousness that is Me.

So we ended up going to Marina Bay in Quincy..... I've never actually been there, it was really nice... And the fact that it was a beautiful warm evening was just perfect. The boats in the marina had some lights and the boardwalk with pretty clear... A few of the restaurants were packed. The crowd seemed young, but then again I am a really bad judge of age. I did see some cute me however they were with women.

Let's talk about the women I saw - most of them were skinny bitches - some of them looked nasty but most of them just had ginormous boobs and tiny waists.... The issue I have with the skinny bitches is that clothes that they wear... I mean damn, if you're gonna wear a skirt that barely covers your ass, don't bend over. Yeah, I did not need to see that... And what is with the thong that is so tight that it is cutting off the blood flow to lower half of your body - the point of a thong is to appear to not have on underwear right? Your not suppose to see it...I mean if that is the case, don't wear anything at all. But I guess that is want men like -- oh well..

I am not, nor will I ever be a skinny bitch who wears thongs that are too tight or skirts that are so short I could catch a cold. I actually like having full breast and hips. I could do without the stomach but that is my only complaint. But other than that, I am happy with what god gave me. And he blessed me at a young age... I've have boobs since I was 7 or 8 years old - as long as I can remember, The Girls have been with me.

There I go again rambling on an on...... Oh well... I may have had too much to drink cause I can't remember where I was going with this... Maybe I'll remember tomorrow (or should I say later today)

Relaxing

Hung out with a friend of mine this evening....(lets call her POUND CAKE). I went to her house and we chatted until she left to meet up with a friend of hers that was visiting from out of town.

She is a really sweet down to earth girl who enjoys life... She has a good head on her shoulders.
It was a good evening - It is always fun to hang with her, she makes me laugh.... I can actually be myself and there is no judgment....

You should meet her she is "good people"

Crazy Ass Drivers

What the hell is wrong with people... Don't they understand that a car can hurt people. I was on my way home a little while ago... Minding my own damn business when the car was just driving in the middle of the damn road... I mean, I understand that there were parked cars on the side of the road and you should avoid them, but which would you rather hit... Another moving vehicle or a parked car. I would opt for the parked car. So fine, I did my best to get out of the way (that is without hitting the sidewalk)...

But then, another ass runs a stop sign and almost took me out... What the fuck!!! Was I not suppose to be outside today... I mean the kid (yes I mean kid, he looked like he was under 20) did not even blink or acknowledge what he just did... I mean, are they just giving licenses to anyone these days.

Well...Better I express my anger here than on the road.... Yes I think this medium is much better.

Damn if I don't have to go back outside in a little while - wish me luck

The Good Life

So I was just on instant message with a friend, MY TWIN, who lives in New Jersey but works in New York... And she just sprung on me the fact that she is working late because, are you ready for this, she is going to a Janet Jackson cocktail reception - yes you read it correctly... US mag is have a cocktail party for Ms. Jackson and MY TWIN will be there.. .hobknobbing with all these celebs.... The Good Life, I aspire.

Bitter Sweet

Well.... The day started off with a deployment ceremony. That was a little draining.

Came home and took a nap - I am still not feeling well, the cough does not seem to be going away. But like my friends keep telling me... Go to the doctor. I will get there eventually, I promise.

Ladies Night - June

Last night, Ladies Night was a raving success again... The one that was scheduled for May was cancelled. We had a blast. It was really nice to take time to spend with the girls...Who are the sweetest people in the world. We all brought something to either eat or drink... This time I made my sweet and spicy chicken (not as spicy as I had hoped) but good non the less, as well as regular fried chicken...Mostly finger food.. We also had salad, chips and salsa, bacon rapped scallops, bread stick with artichoke dip, and wine. I think we went through about 3 or 4 bottles of wine. The conversations was good as well....... Looks like we might have 2 weddings next year..(that's not official yet) but it is looking pretty good. I am so excited... Can't wait.

We finally got to see SMARTS wedding video... She and hubby ran off to the Bahamas last July 19 and got hitched. The video was spectacular... They got married right on the beach, her dress was gorgeous and so was she (tanned and looking beautiful as ever). He was handsome in his linen suit... They make such a lovely couple. I can't believe that it's going to be a year since they got married. It was really nice seeing her, since we don't get to see her very often, she just doesn't get to most of the get togethers... But this was the first time in a long time that we were all here. I can't believe that these girls (I should say women) are the girls that I met when I was in high school (were are talking 1988/1989). It is awesome that we keep in touch with each other.

If that was not enough - we decided to go to a bar. We all met up at The Blarney Stone for more drinks... I did not want to go since I was not dress for the public let along a bar where they could possibly be cute boys..Then I remembered that (see "I am still here" post), so I went.....Only had one drink, which was not problem since I was close to home. All in all the evening was fun....

Putting up with it

I don't know what is going on but I am sick again. I made the mistake of going out in the rain on Wednesday night in open toed shoes and not a damn thing on my hear. So when I woke up on Thursday morning with a hacking cough and a throat that was on fire... I had only myself to blame...For you see, I was trying to look cute (always seems to land me in trouble).

Anyway.. With that cough and fire throat came a horrible headache.....So last night after spending the majority of the night awake... Finally decided to take some heavy duty drugs... Tylenol would not do for this one... I could just feel it. I had to whip out the Butabital/ASP/caffeine combo drug (that is the actual name on the bottle). Needless to say, I was floating for a bit... every time I closed my eyes the room would spin... So I figured watch some tv but the room was still spinning. So when 5 am rolled around and I was still spinning and awake I had to draw the line.....

2 hours later I was up and operating heavy machinery.... Got through that no problems, came back home and slept some more. I've been up since about 10 am and feeling a bit better. Have stuff to do today. So I can't afford to be sick anymore. (At times like this I wish I had suggadaddy to take care of my financial needs)

HA

Look at that shit... it is 06-07-06. As you can see shit is still working, the world has not come to an end. People can be so strange sometimes. When the world does comes to an end I don't think any of us are going to even realize.

06-06-06

First I have to say -- I don't believe in all that superstitious crap...To believe give this crap its power. That said...

Here is my horoscope for today: 06-06-06

You're likely to be looking and feeling beautiful and sexy today, and you're also likely to be "feeling your oats," as today you are particularly aware of your own inner power. If you've been thinking about asking for a raise, do it today. If you've been hoping for a romantic getaway, this is the day to plan it. Whatever you start today is likely to be successful, more because of your own determination than anything else.

Nice don't you think :-)

I am still here!!!

The only thing I can say is that thank god my Chemistry.com account is about to be closed. I swear I've never wasted money like this... I could have had a couple pairs of kick ass shoes with that money.

It can't be me... I received over 260 matches and yes I expressed interest in a good number of them. At least some of them clicked that they were not interested (the only way to know is that they disappear from your active match list). The others I am still waiting to hear from...

I am so done. With the online dating crap, with everything.... Men are stupid and I can be bothered anymore..... They can all kiss my ass.

A Wish

Tall
Handsome
Erotic

Makes me happy
Amazingly kind
Never a harsh word

Open to new possibilities
Firm Ass

Moves me
Youthfulness

Drives me wild
Roughness when necessary
Endless energy
Arms that protect me
Makes my heart sing
Sexy

I've Gone and Done It

So there is the guy on a television show that has caught my attention. Not show if any of you watch Overhaulin on TLC. I generally watch the channel so when that show started airing of course I watch it. Really enjoyed it. Back to my story: So there is a team of builders that help Chip Foose remake the cars.

And one builder in particular..... He is fine as hell. I mean, I sat up the first time I caught a glimpse of him. And that is what has keep me coming back every time (just to get a look at him). So when I say fine... He has the nicest ass, a clean shaved head and arms that I could totally die in. So since first seeing him, I've been thinking how do I find out more about him. I went on the the Overhaulin website to check out the cast etc. No luck there - only has Chip Foose and the co-hosts, Chris Jacobs and Adrienne Janic (AJ). I gave up for a time... just satisfied that I can see him when I watch the show. But there was a small problem - he is not always in every episode. Disappointment... New idea - check out the fan page on TLC... Read the message board for information.

So this brings me to what I did: So on Thursday, I got up enough nerve to sign up to post on the Overhaulin message board... I wrote the message: "Hey does anyone know the name of the bald guy on the show... He is one of the builders. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks." Thinking that no one will reply - I was happy that I did something about it..If I am meant know his name then the universe will see that it happens. Later in the day I checked back to see if anyone had reply to my post: Yes, his name is Andreas. I can die a happy woman. How could I stop now. So last night I something said there is more that can be done. I search myspace to see if there was more information or a what that I could contact him. I found the next best thing. I emailed one of the hosts of the show to verify that his name is Andreas....

Today was my day - I got the confirmation and I made one more request. "Please tell him I said hello and that he is a Hottie McHot" (not exactly but damn close). I am really feeling good right now. Now it is in the universe's hands - I am just gonna wait and see what happens. - If it is meant to be, it will be.

I Feel Pretty

I went and got my hair did yesterday.

That was an adventure in its self. I had a late appointment -- sometime after 7 pm. Anyway... had a touch up and set (if you don't know what that is, ask and i will expain). Decided to do a curly do this time... Oh my... when my stylist was done - I was looking fierce. I mean hot to trot, lucky for me I decided to wears a sexy top to show off 'the girls". An to top it all off... it was a really warm day. God it is good to be a woman with boobies, and a curvy body.

"Real women have curves" And I can fling my frisbee with the best of them .

Mark Vincent - aka V.D.

So I've decided that I need to meet Mark Vincent. I love the way he looks and his voice gives me chills. His head just makes me what to "touch it". What does a girl in Boston have to do to get a visit.

I am not one of those stalker fans that go crazy and do stupid ass things (all in the name of liking a celebrity). All I do when I like a movie star or singer, is to go see their movies, buy them when they are released and watch them on TV. I don't buy the trashy mags, I draw the line. I am not one to sign up for fan clubs either.

But Mr. Vincent is making me consider changing my mind (not about going crazy)... But if it allows me an opportunity to meet, get a hug and a kiss... Then damn-it sign me up.

My Christmas List

OK people.....
I am starting my list early.




So I want him











And him












And him

Sticky Sticky

I seem to be stuck...

I know where I want to go but for some reason I feel like I'm not moving. I don't know what to do. I mean, I know I need to do something but what it is I am supposed to be doing is eluding me.

Right now I just feel like not dealing with anything or anyone - but alas that is not possible so I think I am just going to turn in early. Tomorrow should bring me closer to some sort of resolution.

Any Takers

Anyone want to play Frisbee?

Call me old fashioned

I've been told that I can be a bit intimidating (not know why because I am as sweet as ever)... Anyway... I got that most of my college career. Not so much as a working professional. But what is it all about? I have a nice smile, and I am very friendly - I guess I'll never really know why....

Anyway.... Yes I admit that I am a strong woman. Yes I know what I want and I've gone after it. I am the responsible, level headed on. I’m the one who makes decision and makes sure that they get implemented. What I want is to not be the dominant one when it comes to romance. I would like to be "wooed" it that is done these days. I don't want to be the one doing the chasing.... I think it would be nice to be chased for one in my life.

I know there are men out there who are fine with a strong independent woman, who is smart, honest, and easy on the eyes. Then WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY? Cause I have yet to see one. Maybe there are on an island in the middle of the pacific combing the beach trying to signal a plane. Or they are just too damn scared to admit that is what they really want?

Life

Well - I known for some time now that life is a bitch and then you die - and in between that shit happens.

So last year I had this great opportunity to change careers... A little history. I've been working a A job that was killing me. I mean the stress was off the scale -- it was not the work, the work I really loved, it was the people that was making my life difficult. My feeling is that a couple of the people who worked in the office were, lets say, threatened by an intelligent black woman. Anyway, so after being there for almost 5 years, I left for a better job or so I thought (that is a story for another day). However, 7 months into that position, the company was snapped up. So I found my self for the first time in about 10 years with some quiet time. Did I mention that while dealing with all the stress at work I decided to go back to school to get a masters degree... oh sorry about that.

Anyway.....As I was saying - I had just started my last class in the program and the announcement came - a much larger, huge in fact (over 10000) company would be buying my small little (250) company and the merger would be completed by the end of August. We were told that we would know in a couple of weeks if we (me) would have a permanent job with the new company. Alas, I tried not to worry about it, I focused on finishing my last class, which happened to be at the beginning of August and a week later I got my offer letter. It had an end date - August 31, 2005 would be my last day. Yes, I got a severance package and a nice chunk of stock, so I was fine. After being in school for the last 2 years I really needed a break, I was so happy to be on Vacation for the first time in a long time.

Finally, September came and I did nothing - I just watched TV, played with my niece and nephew... went shopping and the like. I really need that mental health break. So I gave myself that reward for being a really responsible person and sacrificing my needs for others. In October I said, let me really assess what it is I want to do with the rest of my life. What do I really want to do? So mid October I did some research and set out to do it. This new path required me to take a class and study for a test. I swore that I was done with anything class and studying relate - but for the one I made an exception. So I took the class and studied. In November it paid off.... I took the test and became licensed. Yeah Me. I was so proud of myself. This meant the beginning of what I wanted.

Just one little problem - my new career is commission based and I've only made one sale so far... And the savings are getting to the end. Gotta find a way to fix it that... How to make additional money while promoting my new career? Here are some of the ideas I've discarded:

prostitute - don't like walking
drug dealer - too dangerous
picking up cans - too dirty
surrogate mom - too much of a time commitment
selling my eggs - don't like needles (I seriously considered until I found out about the shots)

Nothing else has come to mind - so please if you have any other ideas please let me know.

Did you miss me?

Well, mothers day was good and bad... Yeah it was nice to appreciate moms for all that she does. But it was bad cause I got sick. And I mean really sick. I lost my voice, my head felt like someone took a sledgehammer to it and then to top it all off, I had cramps that could kill an elephant. Not a pleasant week for me. I was laid up in bed with no one to care for me..... But I am finally able to lift my head and open my eyes for an extended period of time. I am not back to 100% yet but I am getting there. Look see I can type. What ever illness I currently have I hope that it goes away and never comes back. Cause this one was not pretty....

Mother

Today is mother's day and I would like to say to my mom - I love you.

Yes you can get on my nerves as all mothers do..., yes you harp on my all the time and yes you complain about everything I do.. but I still love you and always will.

Happy Mother's day to you.

Things in my head...

Can't seem to get my mind to calm down. I have so many different things that I want to do that I am so overwhelmed I don't know where to begin. Why does that happen. I know exactly where I want to be but I can't seem to find a direct road that leads to it. Such a pain in the ass... I say a quote that said something like "this is no elevator to success, so you have to take the stairs..." that is so true... and God only know how many flight you have to walk to get to the top. An unfortunately, I am a bit out of shape so it is taking me a lot longer to make it up the stairs.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude... There are things that I know for certain... I can not avoid paying taxes and I am gonna die on day...Then there are things that I am sure about... I am gonna be successful - in business, in love and in life. I just need to be patient and take it one day at a time and the universe will reward me.

One hell of a week

This week has been shitty... the rain just won't stop falling.. I swear we are going to be washed away. I knew I should have spent more time listening during swim class... LOL

I have 2 graduations to attend this weekend and I am going to have to actually plan what to wear... considering these damn graduations are outside on the grass.. We shall see. Damnit I am going to wear my knee high boots and slicking my hair back. Cause I ain't trying to look cute in the rain...

Quote of the Day

While breaking the bread at Joe's American Grill my sister exclaims " oh my god, I got a splinter"

Bad Girl, the sequel

The title says it all......This time I had a good reason... I had the worse headache in the world. Felt like someone had a nail to my head and was pounding and pounding it deep. Yeah I could not even open my eyes the light bothers me so much. This one started Saturday night and just got worse....

Bad Girl

I was a bad bad girl... I spent the day in bed... Just watching tv and reading...It was such a good day out but I just need a bed day.

TGIF

Another week has ended. I got a bunch of stuff done this week, more that I have in previous weeks. The only reason for that is the change in the weather....I find that I don't like cold weather... And I know what your question to me is...What the hell is she doing in Boston? Well let me tell you..when I was a little girl, 13, I came to Boston with my mom and sister from a small Caribbean island....Yes, I am an island girl.... April we arrived at Logan, my in my sun dress... and proceeded to freeze my ass off -- Looking back it was probably in the low 60 but to someone who had lived their entire life on an island where the temp never drop below 70 degrees.. I was in trouble. Anyway, that winter, I saw snow for the first time. I was naive, I did not know anything about snow.. did not realized that when I touched it it would be cold and wet. Could you blame me, was not part of my world. But I've never gotten used to the cold weather....and it's been 20 years... you think I could handle it...No, I don't like it at all..

Yes, I will definitely be moving to a warmer climate... yes sir...

The Sun is back....

I had a very good day today. Spent the day outside enjoying the beautiful sunshine. Had lunch with a friend, saw a bunch of people who haven't seen me in a long time (who by the way was all surprised by the way I looked, guess they not used to seeing me smile), and did a little shopping (that was fun, you find the best stuff when you do thing on the fly).

I got the cutest skirt and the most adorable shoes.. (unfortunately I underestimated the fit of said shoe)... lets just say, they look really nice on my foot but don't ask me to walk anywhere...LOL. Hung out at the barnes and noble for a while... the books can be really fun... watching people and such... I swear once of these day I am gona meet my future husband at the barnes and noble - not sure what section yet but its gonna happen, I can just feel it. Anyway... a couple of friends were there and we talked and laughed and talked somemore. It was a nice relaxed enjoyable evening.

Did I mention that I looked and felt beautiful today? If I didn't well I am so sorry. But damn-it I did. Haven't felt like that in a long time, it was rather nice. I will have to replicate that more often. There is something to be said about putting on heels and a nice frock and doing up your hair that bring out the woman you me. Hips a swaying and everything... I am liking have my hair longer... there is something to I am thinking. Got a lot of compliments about it today. Think I will not cut it afterall, just gonna let it grow out a bit more... will still keep the layers but most definitely liking the length (at least I did today).

Rain Rain GO Away.....

Rainy days can be so hard. I just want to stay in bed and not go outside. But in the real world that is not possible I am guessing. But we all know why I really have a problem with rainy days... LOL

Alas, I went out in it today. And it was not nice...but I got all the running around that I needed to do done... I was bouncing along with my music...nice and loud. I think I have the music a little too loud. I have a monster of a headache. I can just tell that this one is going to be nasty. I've not had a really bad headache in a few months. I already took 4 extra strength tylenol and nothing as yet. I felt a little dizzy when I was parking the car earlier...that is odd.. since the car was not moving at the time.

But aside from my head problems....today was a very uneventful day, had a couple of interesting phone calls but all that they produced was the knowledge that I have a lot of work to do. Yes, I do work... I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that....

Tomorrow on the other hand should be fun... meeting a former co-worker for lunch...I've not seen her in over a year, so that will be very nice to get caught up. I've realized to do more of reconnecting/networking. It is the one thing that I never was able to do well. But you can't get good at something unless you practice...

Quote of the Day

"I would be more comfortable in my own skin if there wasn't so much pressure on it from my bra and waistband" (from a friend of a friend's mom)

Giving in to Impulse

So I broke down and bought a walkman today... Yes, an updated version of an old school tool...I am not the kind to be constantly listening to music - like I would if I had a long train ride and such. I just need something that I can use when I walk on the treadmill. And the hassle of loading all my cd to an ipod was not something I care to spend time doing... And no I am not an music service person. I also picked up a couple new cds - Pink, Prince, Kelly Clarkson, Busta Rymes, and Gorillaz. Couple of the cd are for my sister who likes rap. I got a good deal... it came with a car kit... Cause I am still driving an older car and I never bothered to put in a cd player... yes, I still have a tape deck. So now I can listen to my cd in the car.. very happy about that. Just trying to get back to music and other stuff that had been neglected for the past couple of years.

Update - Ladies Night

The first ladies night was really nice... It was only four of us but that was fine. We met up at LEGS's house for dinner and conversation. She made an awesome spread--salad with salmon, buffalo chicken wings with veggies and dip, blackened rice, baked Cornish hens, and a rum cake for dessert. Dinner with really nice. When we go there dinner was not ready, so we began to sample wine... 2 bottles later dinner was ready. That lead to a third bottle of wine... During dinner we chatted about random things. We touched a little on men (of course)...2 of 4 are in a relationship. It was really nice to feel the support of females who are doing it... We all are well educated...2 of us have masters degrees...And everyone has really good careers ... Most of us own our own homes... We would be considered young professionals.

It is hard to imaging my life without that female support systems to fall back on when you are having a hard time or when you are succeeding. That bond is something that helps us to stay grounded and hold on to our strengths.

Anyway, we ended dinner and moved on to dessert...Rum cake and champagne with strawberries. We watch a couple of movies and when it was all said and done.. It was 3 am and time to get home. I should have just stayed where I was and be done with it. But I made it home in one piece (thank the lord). Did not get to sleep until sometime after 4 but I sleep like a baby.. Until my eyes opened sometime mid Saturday afternoon...

Can't wait for next month get-together.

Happy May

Well it is the first of may and the sun is shining... Granted it is not really all that warm but this means that summer will be here in no time at all. Gotta get ready for graduations and celebrations. I have a couple of my friends who are graduating from college. I am extremely proud of them. My best friend, LEGS...has finally completed her Bachelors. It has taken her a long time but she did it. I can't express the overwhelming feeling of happiness I have for her accomplishment. She has been through it and she came out on top. Congratulations Sister, you did it and you did it well... She is gearing up to begin a preparing the GMAT -- (you know that damn test). And hopefully she will get into the masters program that she really wants.

Ladies rule... We can do it and have it all.

Staring?

Why do people stare at me the way they do? I wonder all the time. Where ever I go, if I'm stopped at a red light, in a supermarket... It does not matter I find that people just stare. Some of my friends thing I am paranoid... But my little sister has seen it happen. It would be one thing if they would look and smile or say hello, but no they just stare.

When I am out in public, I make sure that my hair is combed, and I am dressed presentable.. (sometimes fashion police inappropriate) but I am covered and my clothes are not damaged. (basically I try not to look like bum). I make sure before I leave the house I check my face in the mirror, just to make sure I don't have stuff hanging that should not be hanging.

And then it starts...I mean I people watch, but most of the time I will give a smile or say hi to be polite...I mean it is the right thing to do. But come on... And I can say that it is one group of people...Men, women and children...They all do it. My sister suggested that I ask them to take a picture since I will last longer, but I think that is a bit rude.

One day I am gonna get the nerve up and just ask..."Why are you staring at me?

Responsibility

When did I become the responsible one. I happen to have 9 brothers and sisters...I am the last child. How in heavens name did I end up being the one to take care of the parent. You figure the older kids would chip in, but no... It is all on my shoulders. If can be very depressing sometimes. I feel like I've missed out on so much. And when I do take an opportunity to enjoy myself, I am made to feel guilty. Why does it have to be that way?

Someone please take me away.....

Ladies Night

So this is the first for many (I hope) when the girls get together and gab about each others lives. The particular ladies I've know since high school... we all went to a BPS together back in 1988. And we are still really good friends to this day. Here are the cast of characters: LEGS, she is in a relationship and is getting married next year (one of the two wedding I will be attending). BOOTY, she is divorced with 3 kids. DREADS- she is in a long term relationship (I think she is going to be the next to get married), she is the community activist in the group. SMARTS - she is married with 2 kids (she married her high school sweetheart after she broke up with her kids father), now this one is the go getter of the bunch. Then there is me, the single one (with now prospect on the horizon)...I am the motherly one, the responsible one... There is one missing, STYLES, I have not seen her in a long time but i've talked to her on the phone and she is doing really well (there is some bad blood between a couple of the other girls so she is not around much)

This is my core group of friends. We laugh and act silly when were are together, when you've known people that long you find that you can really be yourself. Sometimes we don't see or talk to each other for a very long time but when we do reconnect it is like no time has passed between us. I am really glad to have ladies like these in my life, they inspire, motivate and keep me grounded. I trully love them for the best they bring out in me.

So tonight we are getting to get to watch movies, eat and talk...yes they will be drinking involved (that never hurts). It is gearing up to be a sleep where you sit kinda thinks... as from pass experience, we tend to forget what time and how many drinks we've had...so I am going to be proactive and bring a pillow and pjs.

So I've Decided....

I am going to have to step up my work out plan. I have to get myself ready for 2 weddings in 2007, one in April and the other in August. I am really out of shape, nice tits nice ass but the inbetween needs some work. I am hoping to get down to a "buy a dress off the rack" size. Right now to get a hot dress in the color and style that I want I would have to pay an arm, a leg and maybe sell myself on the corner.

I've been working out about 3-4 day a week for the last couple of weeks and I am feeling good. I started without realizing that I need to get a special case for the girls. I made the mistake of jumping while doing taebo for the first time. That was not pretty, lets just say the girls were crying bloody murder. There is something to be said for a good workout... I tend to zone out, pretty much not think about anything, and with the right musical stimulation.. I could go on for hours.

So I have a ways to go... I am on a long term program. Do a little each day and a year from now I will be where I want to be.

Men?

Why are men so daft? I mean really. They (will be used to generalize) say they want to be in a relationship, they want that special person but do they really know a good thing when it is right in front of them?

I was stupid enough to believe that I should try the online match making systems. Thinking I will meet quality men…my rational was – if you gonna pay for something you will get quality…Oh boy was a wrong.

A little history is needed. So last year a co-worker told me she joined e-harmony and started dating this guy… seemed nice enough (actually spoke with her a couple weeks ago and they are still together). So she suggested that I try it. I was finishing up my masters degree and figured that this is the first time in a long time that I had free time to concentrate on my social life. I had so much on my plate that I had to give up a few things, my health and my social life. (I’ll save that for another entry) Anyway, so I figured I would try the e-harmony. I created my profile, was like taking the damn SAT… I got through it and paid my money. Was all excited, within a couple of hours I have a bunch of matches. I was so excited. Yeah, the beginning of a new project… Well little did I know that I would have not luck… all the matches that I received would close the match. The best reason was “I don’t think there is any chemistry”. Now I am wondering, how you know if you have chemistry with someone if you’ve never met them. That one boggles the mind. So I gave up on that. Someone (another friend) told me to try Match.com. Oh my god… lets just say I am even worse that e-harmony. Let’s just say I did not get what I was looking for… no where on my profile did I mention that I was a prostitute, whore, or slut or even insinuated anything close. Since my profile was quite honest as am I, I was offended. Then there was that one (remind me to talk about that one another time). What it was was a waste of my damn time and energy.

Since I am a glutton for punishment, I figure give it one more try… damn if I didn’t sign up on Chemistry.com. I have to admit I am an ass to the tenth power. I had one person interested… and he just wanted to see my picture because it was not available until communication began. But I’ve receive over 140 matches and yes I’ve expressed interest in a good number of them. However I am still waiting for mutual interest to be returned. Unfortunately I can’t get my money back.

I am glad that I’ve tried….I put myself out there and granted I did not get the results I desired but I was trying to be still open to the possibility. But as the days go on… I am seriously thinking about jumping ship. It does not seem as if my Mr. Man is out there and I am having serious trouble wrapping my head around that fact.

Shoes

I went shopping last night. I was so disappointed. I am trying to change my look, or get some kinda of style. I am beginning with shoes...(it's all about the shoes). You can tell a lot about a person by the kinda shoes they wear (at least that is what I've heard)... So why do my shoes say about me... They would say I am boring..Most of them are black and full. No sexy, f***me pumps.. One pair of strappy ones. I tried to do color in boots but that ended up being one pair of brown and one red (which I hardly wear, once or twice maybe).

This is what I have currently (not exactly but this is the style):








Now here is where I wan to be:


So now to implement...Shopping in stores stuck because I could not fine what I wanted and a really good friend of mind suggested I try online... Which was successful as you see from above. I am plotting and planning. Now I have the shoes all I need to do is work on the outfits. Wish me luck.

Kids are cute...

My niece is the most adorable kid in the world. At age 2 she lights up a room. She has the most beautiful eyes and she loves her auntie very much. She is destined for greatness I believe. She will be strong, successful and brilliant. That is my prediction for her.... Check back with me in 25 year and we shall see.

Being Single

I notice that I get sad when it rains....No for the reasons you may think... But because it reminds me that I am lonely. (I was going to say alone but I have a ton of people in my life, just not that special someone). It is on days like this that I wish I had a special person in my life. I spend the afternoon with a bunch of my friends...Both are married with kids. I like to see the way they interact with each other. You can tell that they (both couples) are really in love. I mean the kinda love that is unconditional. I've know the wives for over 10 years...Both of them met their husbands during college. So they were together a while before they got married. There is so much caring between that it warms the heart. Unfortunately, when I am with them, I am reminded (not by them) that I am still single. I have been asking myself this question lately...Why am I still single? This is the question of the ages. I believe that I've done my best to put myself out there. I am an attractive woman, I am honest, kind, giving, and loyal. Am I sabotaging myself...Am I projecting something that is turning men away? What could it possibly be.

After all these years why AM I still single. Almost all of my friends are married or are in serious relationships. So where is He? I have realized that I sometimes don't see what is in front of me.....Because I am so focus on achieving a certain goal....How many opportunities have I miss for not pay closer attention? Was He there and I was too blind to see him because I had my head in a book or was worrying about something?

God help me if I've missed my opportunity.

Here Goes

Well I've gone and done it. I am blogging. I guess I could use it to get some of my anger out, cheaper than seeing a shrink. So here goes. So there isn't much happening in my life these days...No that is not true. There is a lot of stuff happening, just not the stuff that I want to happen.

I am a single girl (yes I refer to myself that way sometimes) living in the Boston area. I've lived in Boston for 20 years. Wasn't born here so I don't have the same appreciation for Boston as others do. I am plotting to leave, not sure when it will happen but it will be swift and pain free. I dream of wide open space...it kills me that I can look out my window and into someone's house. It is kinda sick to see the space between the houses in Boston. Sometimes it is so small that you can reach in and scratch someone's ass. Don't like that kinda closeness at all. I want 5+ acres of land somewhere (have not figured out exactly where) but I know if I want that kinda of space, I can't be picky.

I've have met some really cool people in Boston... I have some really awesome friends. They are my support and I theirs....Most of them I've known for over 10 years. I have a core group that I met in high school... (Boston Public, of course).... Then there are the college friends...Honestly I've only added a couple new people in the last year or so. I say I am shy, but my friends would say something completely different.

A friend of mind suggested that I write... Other than in my personal journal and this is my attempt to do that. I don't believe that I am a good writer. Yes I hold a BA and an MS, but I my writing sucks. I can't spell and my grammar is bad.. I remember a professor in college telling me that I was dyslexic when it comes to grammar, i will never forget her. Of course I have since completed my undergraduate, masters and several really good jobs..... I don't acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses...and writing is at the top of the list. I've realized over the years that I express myself 100 times better when I speak with people directly. I could never seem to put my feeling down on paper. This will be my attempt to see what I can do.